Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize