...so i touched it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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