someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
