Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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