tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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