im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
