I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
