Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
