i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
