i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
