he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
