i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
