She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
