We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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