Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
