guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
