after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
