Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
