The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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