i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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