didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Your dad touched me again.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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