just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
