Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
