my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
