dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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