Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
