I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
