Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
