we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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