I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
