Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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