put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
