i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
