i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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