Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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