puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
