couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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