i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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