Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
