I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
