so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
