yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
