I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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