it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
