I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
