I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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