the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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