Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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