I feel great
I just peed on a car
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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