Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
