I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
